My Life With Autism, By Jeffrey Tuck
/Peterborough's Jeffrey Tuck, age 20, has autism. His parents—Cathie and Dave Tuck—are the founders of the Peterborough Huskies special needs hockey team. Jeffrey wrote this article, in his own words, for PTBOCanada about what it's like to live with it. It is a fascinating glimpse into this world. Have a read below...
Jeffrey in the kitchen at the N'Able Bagel Program run at the Synagogue. This amazing program is a group of adults with special needs who make Montreal Style bagels from scratch.
My Life With Autism —By Jeffrey Tuck
When it first happened (from what I can remember), I was in elementary school (fifth or sixth grade, my memory of what year things happened in, is a bit bad), and for some reason I became paranoid of putting things over my head.
My fear was that if I thought of a show or book or even a topic that wasn't peaceful, when I went through a threshold, like a door, or arch, or shirt, then the world would warp into whatever I was thinking about.
An example would be; if I thought of The Simpsons, while putting on a shirt, then I would end up entering a world where The Simpsons were occuring. Another would be if I thought of zombies when I entered a room, then a zombie apocalypse would be starting.
Luckily (after some time, of an amount I don't remember. So it could have been anywhere between a day to a couple of months, probably closer to the former) I was able to discern a way to calm myself, which was to walk backwards through a threshold, and try to think of peaceful things like; Emperor's New School, Pokémon, and CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (The third would be because crimes occur regardless, and I like the show).
After some more time, I also went through a phase where I couldn't be in a room when lights, and game systems (in particular; loading screens) were being turned on/off, and the first way to solve that was to wait until they changed back to the way they were when I first entered the room, later I would hide under my snow coat when they changed the lights on, or off, and when loading screens came up. Now I am indifferent to the lights and loading screens.
For a time I also was nervous of moving in rooms, when my brother was in the room. The reason for this was because, I didn't go to school at the time, and my brother played outside, so I barely saw him, from where I was in the house, so I became nervous, because it wasn't part of my typical routine at the time. I've now lost this nervous tick.
Another problem I had was whenever there was a horror show, like; Tales From The Cryptkeeper, I would freak out, from worrying about being sent to a world where those tales occurred. I now enjoy horror movies, and shows, to an extent.
Also some of my fears came from reading Goosebumps books, from before my Autism became apparent. So stuff like; elevators, mirrors, chameleons (I think, I was afraid of them, I can't remember well about this one), school picture day, black and white pictures, even a DVD of my grade 6 graduation, a street near my house for being called "South Park", the words "Fear Street" "Elm Street" and "Freddy Krueger" (might be more, but I don't remember right now).
For words, I would say a similar word that would be used to counteract the word I was scared up. Examples would be; "Cheer Street", "Helm Street" and "Freddy Luger" (I can't remember for sure, if I used "Freedy Luger").
Jeffrey with his Dad Dave Tuck
My mood has also influenced how severe my paranoia would be, from; not reacting, to hitting myself in terror. So the happier I am, the harder it is to be paranoid. After getting medicated, I started to devise better ways of comforting my psyche. An example, (besides the ones I have mentioned) was to remind myself that my bad thoughts don't affect anything.
Though over time I had to develop better defences, to which I now remind myself of how I set safeguards, which I tell myself of the specifics, whenever I can't calm myself with just reminding myself that I have safeguards, and whenever I feel I need new ones, I tell myself the new ones, and add that they are in my safeguards.
Another one of my nervous ticks, is; to not apologize, even to inanimate objects, as I'm afraid of getting them angry. Anyways, on to my family. My parents, and my brother have been very supportive, and have help kept me from breaking down, like when I first became paranoid. Without their help, I would likely be institutionalised, and have a very violent disposition. I am very appreciative of their help, and I love them for how well they treated me, even when I would lash out in fear of my paranoias.
And I shouldn't forget how my grandmother on my mom's side has taken care of me, when my family is going on a trip for something I don't want to go on, like hockey tournaments, since I'm not very athletic, and I get bored if I don't draw, listen to music, watch t.v., play games or read.
My grandmother and I occassionally play with a bean bag toss, that she keeps in her closet, which I really like to play. My doctor helped with determining what medication I should be on, so I have him to thank.
And well now on to my thank yous.
Thank you Mom and Dad.
Thank you Bro.
Thank you Grandma.
Thank you Dr. Boyer.
Thank you Puppy (My treasured stuff animal).
Thank you Sir Jingles (My yellow lab).
Thank you Maddy (My tabby).
And to save me from trying to remember everyone's names (Something I'm bad at).
Thank you, everyone from Nova's Ark.
Thank you, my childhood friends.
Thank you E'Nable Bagels (Not sure if I spelt it right).
And thank you Peterborough Huskies, I really like helping run the concession stand.
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Editor's Note: Should you wish you reach Jeffrey, contact him via his mother Cathie here.
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