Peterborough Blogs
Column 6: Dating In The City With Match Me Peterborough's Rebecca Cooper
/COLUMN 6 TOPIC: Putting your fear of rejection into perspective
As individuals, we are used to making a decision pursuing what best suits our needs, whether it is personally or professionally. We are picking one over the other, we are considering ourselves and what will make us happy, and simply making a choice.
When it comes to dating someone new, the fear of being rejected can be paralyzing. Many will avoid dating altogether to protect themselves from the potential pain they may encounter.
If you can take your emotions out of it for just a second, evaluate what the purpose of dating actually is.
Going on a date with someone is taking a thought and putting it into an action; you are confessing that you would like to get to know more of his person. Consciously deciding to give this person some of your personal time to get to know YOU is truly a wonderful thing.
Committing to a date should follow, with no expectations of the final outcome. Now this is where things normally go askew, as often people will instantaneously create an expectation, and doing so has now built up an anxiety of “What if it doesn’t work out?”
Think about this for a second: What if you go on a date with someone you think you are interested in and it doesn’t follow through with a number exchange or a plan for a second date? What will that do to you?
Will you wonder if you did something wrong? YES! Will you question this person's intentions? MAYBE, but there is probably no reason to. Will you be okay? YES, YOU WILL!
Going on a date is a stepping stone to discovering a person that you will love and appreciate. You will not want to go on a second date with every person you meet, which in turn means you are “rejecting” them—not because you are mean and cruel, it’s because you are looking out for your best interests and putting your needs as a priority.
Column No. 2: Dating In The City With Match Me Peterborough's Rebecca Cooper
/COLUMN 2 TOPIC: Tips on how to successfully date when using a Matchmaker
Anyone can hire a matchmaker, but if you want the most bang for your buck, then make sure you are putting in the effort on your end as well. Here are eight great tips on how to successfully date when using a Matchmaker:
1. Be emotionally ready to meet someone new: It’s important to take the time after a split to heal from any pain before moving forward. There is a huge difference when it comes to wanting to date, and being ready to date. So before you consider joining any type of service, you should ask yourself, “Are you ready to date again?”
2. It’s important to be realistic when looking for a compatible match. If you have been actively on the market for more than two years and have not had even one second date, then you need to re-evaluate your expectations.
3. Take a good look at your outer shell. Looks matter: YOU are the first thing people see when they meet you so make sure you are representing yourself the way you want to be perceived.
4. Tell the world you are ready to start dating. Allowing your family and friends to know you're single really sets the stance, and they’ll keep their eyes and ears opened for you when hearing about single friends and colleagues. Keep the way you go about meeting singles confidential, it’s only your business.
5. It’s important to imagine yourself dating. Start to think about meeting new people and finding love.
6. Keep a positive attitude! If you start thinking that you will never meet this person, then you are setting the mood for failure.
7. Patience is a virtue…. What is the rush anyway?
8. Be open to dating advice. Having a dating expert with you and assisting you in the process gives you an opportunity to learn and grow. Take advantage of this!
This is the second of bi-weekly dating columns by Rebecca Cooper appearing on PTBOCanada.com. Read her first one here.