Peterborough Woman Writes Grief Memoir on the Death of Teenaged Friend

To help cope with her best friend’s tragic death, Patti Kimball wrote and published her book ‘Siren on Repeat: What My Best Friend’s Death Taught Me About Hope and Grief’ describing the story of grief and loss of Aprile McIntosh at the age of 14.

Aprile and Patti in January 1988. Photo courtesy of Patti Kimball.

In 1988, Kimball’s best friend died suddenly from a congenital heart condition.

“Aprile was the most cheerful, outgoing (person),” says Kimball. “The laughter just never stopped when you were around her.”

She says her fondest memories of McIntosh include dance parties at Club 404 in Peterborough, movie nights and shopping trips.

“We would all gather around and we dance a lot, we laughed, those were just really, really fun moments,” recalls Kimball. “We would go to those places and we would dance our hearts out for at least a good four hours.”

Photo courtesy of Patti Kimball.

On the day of her passing in February of 1988, Kimball recalls staying home sick that day and starting to feel better around 5 p.m. She received a phone call around 6:50 p.m. from McIntosh, asking if she wanted to go to the dance club with her and a couple of other friends.

“I told her I was not going to be able to go out, there was no way that my mom and dad were going to allow me to do that after I had been sick all day.”

“‘Are you sure that I can’t see you for just five minutes Pat? That’s all I need,’ and I said ‘Yeah I’m sure,’” Kimball continues. “Then she said ‘Pat? You’re the best, never forget it, and I’ll see you soon.’”

By 7:04 p.m., Kimball says, the ambulance had shot down her street. She lived at the top end of the same street as McIntosh, with her house at the bottom end.

“When the ambulance went by, I just got this really unsettling feeling that I couldn’t really figure out,” she describes.

Kimball recalls shaking off those bad feelings and going to bed. When she woke up in the morning she prepared to call McIntosh after breakfast.

“I went over and I start dialling her number, and I hadn’t even finished when I received a knock on my door from another friend, who came and said ‘Patti, it’s Aprile.’ I said ‘I knew it, I knew there was something wrong. What hospital is she in?’ and she just shook her head and told me it’s worse than the hospital, and at that point I knew exactly what happened,” says Kimball.

McIntosh had a congenital heart condition; she had multiple holes through the chambers of her heart, and had been in and out of hospital for many years according to Kimball.

While walking to catch the bus, she collapsed.

Kimball’s self-published novel ‘Siren on Repeat: What My Best Friends Death Taught Me About Hope and Grief’

Along with her group of loyal friends, McIntosh was survived by a sister, brother and two parents.

“All of us friends showed up to all three (visitations), together. It was about loyalty, and if that was any one of us Aprile would’ve done the exact same thing,” said Kimball. “We weren’t not going to be there for her or her family. We were there for all of it. None of us bailed out on her.”

As the years progressed, Kimball went on to graduate from a Social Service Worker program, working as a practical nurse with a focus on community nursing. She is also an Emotional Health Practitioner, a certified Mindset and Emotional Wellness coach trained in the Emotional Wellness Technique.

“When Aprile died it changed me forever. I became more compassionate and more empathetic,” said Kimball. “I gravitated to the helping professions, which is why I went into nursing and I’m a mindset and emotional wellness coach.”

Kimball’s call to help others, as well as processing her own grief, is what led her to write.

“There is not a right or wrong way to grief. I certainly don’t have all the answers but I wanted to be able to share what my experiences were so that someone else who’s reading it may be able to look at where they’re at in their own grief journey and be able to ‘do’ grief on their own terms,” said Kimball. “I wrote many poems processing my grief during that time period, and each time I sat down and I completed one I felt better. Then a few days later I would get this nudge that would tell me I had a lot more to say.”

This was when Kimball says she began writing Siren on Repeat.

“I wanted to honour her memory, and focus on who she was- and not her illness-, the legacy she left behind and the importance of human connection and what friendship really means. The power of those connections can get us to work through the grief and the pain that we’re feeling,” she continues. “The readers will step into my carefree, adolescent days of friendship, experience the shock and trauma of a grieving teenager and follow along my healing journey, to be able to leave the reader with a sense of inspiration.”

The self-published book was released on Oct. 31.

“Through the years I saw so many young people struggling with grief and loss, and I was one of those kids, so I felt a responsibility to support others through grief and loss because I lived it. I knew by sharing my story it may be exactly what someone else needs to hear,” said Kimball.

‘Siren, On Repeat: What My Best Friend’s Death Taught Me About Hope and Grief’ is a memoir that heals through storytelling, offering hope to the reader and author alike by dissecting her grief and honouring the memory of McIntosh.

Those interested in reading Kimball’s novel can click this link.

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